The Reality

What's so new of welcoming new year with a blog post? Hehe! I rarely write today for some important matters and I'm sorry for being MIA for several months. 

Anyway, before heading up to the main topic I just want to greet myself, Congratulations for being so strong for the past 13 months! You finally made it! 

When I was about to end my school life, I wrote a blog sharing my thoughts on what will be my plans after school. If you haven't read it, here's the link: After School. 

In my previous blog, I still didn't know yet what industry should I pursue or what kind of work I am going into. After three long years, I can finally light the way to my dreams. After graduation, it's never easy to step up and find a work that really suits you. 

On my experience, I had to condition myself first. Two months after getting my diploma, I need to have a dental surgery and it sucks that my parents still feed me. Hehe. September of the same year, I was about to start my first EVER job. Yikes! It feels surreal to work; you know almost of my batchmates are working and getting paid every 15th while me? I was about to start! Anyway, it doesn't matter because we dont have a timeline after all. 

Three months of working, I still dont know if I need to leave after 6 months and look for another job or stay. However, there's still a law that says "End of Contract." So, if you weren't a good one and they didn't promote you to the next level... you don't have any choice but to look for another job. And... it happened, I didn't get a promotion. That started my another journey of being a jobless. 

Right after my last day, I went to different companies applying for a job. I went to so many job fairs, interviews and photocopied resume a lot. It's never easy to look for another job even if you're a degree holder. I was about to give up; I even decided to attend trainings to change my career. I realized that even if you're doing well at school. You cannot use it without perseverance and faith. IT IS SO HARD TO LOOK FOR A JOB THAT REALLY SUITS YOU! 

That was the time I don't want to remember because of the heartaches, the rejections, the failures and the frustrations for myself. I actually had a mild depression for several months. It's so hard to wake up every morning thinking... "Is this really the life I really wanted? I  already gave all my best but still not enough. This is the reality of life!" 

God saved me! The Reality taught me that even if you wanted it, if it still not for you. You won't get it. I had the worst 2018! I dream of being like this but ended up at home writing and doing some favorite stuffs. There are lots of realizations and lessons I learned from those months I had to survive.

 If you saw my previous social media post most especially my blogs, you will see how sad I am. Real life really sucks! I cannot compare it to anything. It's a big different! Through those times, I realized that "You cannot easily get the things you prayed for in just a glimpse of an eye." You will need a lot of courage, perseverance and faith on God. 

How I survived? It's a plain faith, perseverance, self confidence and trust in the Lord. I actually didn't know how I survived. However, I surrender my life to the Lord. He saved me from drowning and uplifted me again. 

I started my 2019 with a big news; February 1st of that year I was hired for a new place of work. It's actually on the industry that I never imagine I would work on but because of my willingness to work again, I accepted it without hesitation. It's also the start of everything; from being rejected to being chosen. That kind of work gave me the feeling of contentment, assurance and helped me a lot, really a lot. It expands my knowledge, self confidence, skills and flexibility. 

I was hired at a company that gives me the courage and perseverance on attaining my dreams. The only goal I had that urged me to accept it -- is to gain experience for a short time. I just want to try the other side of hospitality industry. Little did I know that working in a customer service gives me the opportunity to connect with the people. The feeling I get whenever a customer says, "Thank you" gives me a smile on my face. 

Twelve long months had passed, I never knew I would reached this so far and I'm thankful for the people for being there; for helping me building myself again. It's really a rollercoaster ride. I experienced crying and laughing at the same time. There are days I want to give up, I just want to lay down on my bed to sleep and think everything. Working with a shifting schedule is really hard. Besides, you cannot experience eating on time, sleeping 8 hours straight and going to have a life after work. However, it makes me happy because... I don't know. Maybe, I was destined to work on that kind of field. It matures me a lot and everytime I thought of giving up, I always remind myself of the words my superior are always telling me. And I'm surrending again myself to Lord, I always look for his guidance. 

Right at this moment, I am fully recharged and ready to take another milestone. I believe that it's never too late for everything, we have our own timeline and phase. 

To everyone, who are struggling a lot right now. Please, please don't ever give up especially on your dreams. Let God do his own ways while doing yours. Let Him guide you, embrace you in every sad & happy tears. Let Him give you the light to succeed. Everything will fall into place. It may not be as easy as picking up the stones but it will be very worth it. 

Lovelots,
Vanessa Doce