The Shine in my Sun; The Light in my Life

 

Finally, the long wait is really over! I’ve met the light in my life. It’s been ECQ since I uploaded a blog or even a poem. Sorry for being too busy and forgetting about my hobby. Anyway, I came back with a new and surprise blog entry for all of us!

Year 2018, when I opened up about my love life and it was also the same year when I have lots of realizations and lessons. Two long years passed; things were different. My life turned upside down; met new people and experienced a lot of new memories. Aside from my new career (which I already shared on my blog) this year God answered one of my long-time prayer – a boyfriend. 

Link on my previous blog: Why am I still Single? How to heal a broken heart

The first time I met this man, I never knew he will change my life and even my sights about love. I doubted him for several times. I rejected him not just once or twice but (I guess) a million times and even pulled him away from my life. I didn’t know that later on he’s going to change my life.

When I was a teenager, I dreamed of having a boyfriend but I don’t have any idea on how I am going to meet him. I waited it for so many years not until I reached the age of 20 when I posted a blog entry about “Why am I still single?” That entry became the reason why people are always telling me on when I will be having a boyfriend.

And now, the wait is over because all of the reasons I wrote before washed out by this man beside me. 

Eight months of pursuing me is not really easy. We’ve been close friends for 4 months. We’ve been like “tropa” and nothing more than that. We are very close; little did I know that this man started to have feelings for me. It was very sudden because I only see him as a friend and a workmate. He always teases me and make fun of me; I was clueless that he sees me in a romantic way. I didn’t believe with what our workmate said about his feelings until he admitted it. I was shocked. I was clueless. I was speechless. I didn't know what to feel nor to say. I didn't know how to react.

For me, it was a joke but after all I started to believe that he really likes me. I was very shy that time and it took me 4 months before giving him the chance. You would ask me what are my reasons why I let those 4 months passed to give him the chance… (1) We’re workmates and I don’t want our work be affected, (2) I’m not yet ready. (3) I’m focusing on my goals on that year.

December of this year, I decided to talk to him again. Still, I didn’t want to have any romantic thing that time. I always tell him that “if you like me, wait until my heart become ready.” I am very open with my feelings to him – I still didn’t want to; I’m not yet ready and focusing on my career goals. However, he, too is very clear with his intentions. He said, “Please let me express my feelings even if you didn’t want. Please let me make you happy because that’s the only way I can make myself happy too.”

In between those days, he kept on making me special especially on my 23^rd birthday and on valentine’s day. He always waited for me (in the middle of the night) after work just to have a little conversation but I always refused to. He kept sending me my favorite sweets even when I didn’t want to. He always helped me in my works; asked me if I’m okay and how my day goes.

I was assigned to a different branch and it was very hard for him since he keeps on telling our friends, “Paano kung may mahanap sya na iba dun? May magkagusto sa kanya na iba tapos manligaw? Ang layo niya.” But he never ended it that way. He never let me feel homesick during my days-off. I never feel lonely when I was away with my family. He sacrificed a lot just for me not to feel alone.

My feelings started to bloom. I started to feel kilig and special.  I couldn’t believe that this man hooked my heart for the very first time. Remember my blog about being single? I’m having a hard time dealing with commitment issues and still finding the right one. HE NAILED IT AGAIN! He opened my heart through God; he never read my blogs before he started to like me. He is very amazing! He is the man I really dreamed of. I have always prayed for that! I have always dreamed of that… luckily, God answered it! God made it happen!

The most kilig part for me is when he personally asked my parent’s approval. He even told my parents that he likes me and wanted to pursue me. I feel so touched and happy at the same time! He became my niece’s favorite and loved also by my family. I never imagined this day would come! I never imagined that my family will love him like this

***

To my man,

            Thank you for your patience! Thank you for pursuing me and for making me happy from then on until now. Thank you for your love and for all the sacrifices. Thank you for everyday sweetness, for your perseverance and honesty. Thank you for letting me experience this; for giving me one of a kind love, for opening my locked heart and for always believing in me! You never showed how hard for you to pursue me; you keep on loving and fighting for me even though I rejected you for so many times. You showed how powerful prayer is and how perfect timing falls on! You truly the man I prayed for! You are the man of my dreams and one of my inspiration today! I love you always!

TO ALL THE NO BOYFRIEND SINCE BIRTH GIRLS OUT THERE SAYING “SANA ALL”,

            I’ve been there! I’ve been in your situation for 23 years and I know how difficult to wait for the right one. I came to a point imagining myself that no one will love me like what others have. Little did I know that after long prayers, right one will come without any notice. Dumaan din po ako sa mga panahon na nag-sasana all, puro shared post at sobrang bitter sa mga nakikita sa news feed. Most of my friends knew how I am with those days. Time…right time will come! Don’t find the one, let them find you. Let them find your own uniqueness and beauty. While waiting, love yourself and make the most out of it. Love your flaws and own beauty. Love what you can do and accept who you are. Loving our own self is the only way we can love by others.

            Jett loves me the way I am. He loves me on my beautiful and even on my worst days. He never stops loving and pursuing me even up to this day. He always says, “You’re still beautiful” even if I`m looking so ugly in my sleepwear and wasted face.

            I want you to know that prayer works! Right time will come and perfect love will knock at your close and locked heart. Just keep on believing in God and yours will come.

Love lots,

Vanessa